I write you today, day 11, of a ten-day silent meditation course I just completed in Jaipur, Rajasthan.
Yes: I was silent for 10 days. Well, almost entirely silent. I broke down Day 4 long enough to get on the Internet and have my wonderful boyfriend kick my butt (and tell me he loved me) enough to sign offline, and get back to work.... sitting. not talking.
This is work for me. Hard work. Exhausting work. I am happy for a day of movement today, and also of discussion, discourse, and engagement. I am happy for the peace I found in my time during this course, and hope to continue my practice of sitting, silently, for an hour at least each day. This will be my challenge - for so many reasons... mostly because it is against my habits.
The course was interesting and beneficial - but most significantly it was difficult. My days began at 4:00 am, with meditation beginning in the hall at 4:30. I thought of you all, often, as I sat, silently, not moving, as my strength - my foundation. I sat. I sat. I sat. The object of the sitting is to not move at all -for at least one hour. This is actually very difficult. Everything begins to ache, everything begins to hurt... I became uncomfortable. Usually, when we are uncomfortable, we move. It was my duty to learn how to not react to this discomfort. As hour after hour passed.. I thought of all of you - all my family and friends and loves... you were all with me.
The center was full of monkeys and peacocks. I thought of Aunt Zoe every time I saw a peacock.. not sure why, but everytime ( and there were a LOT of peacocks!). It is mating season here in Jaipur, so I also had the pleasure of learning a great deal about the mating rituals of black-face monkeys.
I also learned about stepping barefoot in bird poop - of two varieties... and, with my zenned out-meditated out mind, didn't hardly react.... I'd sat in one position for 3 hours! What was a little bird poop! I just walked over to the tap, and washed it off. Done.
By Day 7, I had noticed a real change in my Self. This is change better described in person or conversation, and am happy to share it with any of you in this manner. It is nothing epic, nothing super-natural, no nirvana... but a subtle and significant shift in the way I have been approaching my life for now... 4 days.
The meditation technique was not one interlaced with any religion - so to settle any conversation regarding that matter I'd like to clarify that I am not now a Buddhist or a Hindu.. it's more like exercise for your brain and brain/body connection. So perhaps now I am just a moderately more fit-in-the-head individual. Moderately. There is much to discover: like, how this practice will manifest itself in my rapidly approaching "REAL LIFE".
REAL LIFE:
I'm coming back to my wonderful America. I'll be arriving in Washington DC Feb. 17, mid-afternoon, to join my college roommate for a short stay while I get my feet wet. Until that time I'll be applying ardently and diligently for jobs, enjoying Indian street food til I get food poisoning, and travelling with my Mom and Rod.. starting in just a few days.
Well, it's lunch time and time to find a place to sleep for the night.
All my love and goodwill to all of you...
and, if anyone knows of a good art-related job sprouting up somewhere: let me know.
MUAH!
Z
